In my recent visit to my doctor due to Upper RTI, he told me to cut down on caffeine.  Yes, coffee.  And the other day, while I was having coffee at my favorite coffee shop (yes, I’m bad. Not following my doctor’s order. hehe), I read from a magazine what caffeine and sweets can do to your body that eventually will result to the irritating mood swings.

So I did my internet research on caffeine and sweets about them triggering the mood swings in women.  I don’t exactly remember every words, but it says something like caffeine is a drug and it causes your body to be on a ‘fight or flight’ mode.  Caffeine triggers the release of the stress hormones that you may use to prepare yourself for a dangerous situation, like what they cited, a war. But like for me, who just sits at my desks at the office, it may not be necessary.  Of course, moderate consumption of caffeine is fine. Well, everything that is in moderation is better.

But my consumption is way beyond the moderation. I am a coffee lover. Or addict, whichever suits best. I love sweets too. Chocolates are my vitamins. =) haha… and it is so hard to resist them. Unfortunately according to my internet research, they both have effects on my body particularly in my mood.  And true enough, I experience mood swings. There will always be days or weeks in a month that I get annoyed easily, irritated, overly sensitive and become a crybaby.  I hate it. I don’t like the feeling. I don’t like undergoing such stage wherein one minute you are happy, but the next you are sobbing. That’s just so crazy. It doesn’t make me feel good and it affects my relationship to others. It even ruined my relationship with my ex. Damn.

Oh well, so now I am having this experiment on myself. I will not drink any coffee for a month and will really try to avoid anything with caffeine. Sweets…. I will also avoid them, especially chocolates. I will see what wonders  it will do to me and my moods. I will see if they are really the culprit to my everchanging moods.

So I am daring myself:

*No coffee or anything with caffeine for a month
*No sweets too

I just started two days back and I haven’t had any coffee. Weeeeee!!!!!

from my journal, dated July 26, 2009:

“I am personally saddened about learning that the former president Aquino is in the hospital fighting for her life. I pray that she gets better soon.”

~~~~   ~~~~   ~~~~

This is what I wrote in my journal while we were on our way home from the church where our head pastor lead a prayer for President Aquino. Indeed I was personally saddened upon learning her condition while she was still Makati Medical Center, but now my heart grieves for her loss.

I was born in the 80’s. I was 4 years old  when she became the president. All I could remember was the election, seeing Marcos’ face on the television and hearing my parents and some adult relatives and neighbors talking about them. I even remember saying, “kawawa naman si Marcos”, but I was corrected by my aunt, telling me that he deserves it. Of course, I really have no idea what was happening that time, I don’t understand what was going on, all I know is that Marcos looks pitiful on television. But the people around me were all rejoicing over Aquino’s victory. Few years after that, I was in my mother’s hometown which is a 2-hour drive from Manila, I remember  while playing “baril-barilan” with my childhood friends (yes I used to play a lot of boys’ games) an elderly neighbor shouted at us and told us to stop playing. She said, there is already a chaos happening in Manila and playing a game like that is not quite pleasant to see. She was talking about the coup d’é·tat. Then I also remember seeing advertisements on TV with some military men’s faces whom the government called as state enemies for staging the coup. I particularly recalled Honasan’s head shot. I also remember the massive power interruptions. Other than those I have mentioned, I don’t remember anything anymore during her term. I guess I was too young to remember.

But about 1-2 decades after, I have some good memories about Mrs. Aquino. I don’t personally know her and haven’t even seen her in flesh but with her participation in fighting for truth, justice and righteousness during the past few years, she had earned my utmost respect. She bravely went out to the street and made her stand on political issues. Even after being diagnosed for cancer, she still didn’t stop supporting the fight for righteous government. Truly she is an icon of democracy and with her joining forces with the other Filipinos who never lose hope for the Philippines, it added a lot to our confidence.

I was saddened by her illness and grieves for her death. I felt like we have lost someone so significant, someone so vital for the fight we are fighting for the future of the nation. That I think is the very reason I grieve.

For the past few days, reports were showing the whole Philippines in grief. We are all mourning. They also showed how her death unifies the Filipinos. It is indeed good to see my fellowmen show concern and not being apathetic on what is going on. It is a good news from the bad news. But I hope it will not end here. I pray and hope that President Aquino’s legacy will always be remembered. I pray it will continue to live on in every hearts and minds of each Filipino citizen.

Thank you President Corazon Aquino. Thank you, you made us proud to be Filipinos.

“Ako’y nagpapasalamat sa Panginoong Diyos na ginawa niya akong isang Pilipino“
– Cory Aquino, September 2008

]]> http://takemeiamyours.wordpress.com/2009/08/05/why-i-grieve-for-the-lost-of-president-corazon-aquino/feed/ 0 takemeiamyours cory 1101870105_400 http://takemeiamyours.wordpress.com/2009/08/02/208/ http://takemeiamyours.wordpress.com/2009/08/02/208/#comments Sun, 02 Aug 2009 07:43:10 +0000 Y http://takemeiamyours.wordpress.com/?p=208 ]]>

Your eyes lost its shimmer

And doesn’t look to my direction anymore.

It’s been more than 3 months. I wouldn’t forget… the anniversary of Titanic that is the same day my heart sank. Everything is still fresh. I still could hear the words you uttered and lines you wrote. They echo, they haunt, they torture.

You seem too far away now. You have moved on, perhaps. You already have forgotten.

What did you do? How did you do it? Maybe you can share it to me, and I can apply the same techniques too.

I don’t want to be affected anymore. I don’t want my every move, my every decision to be connected to you. I don’t want every thought about you in my head. I want you out. I want to forget you.

But please tell me how. I do now know how.

I don’t know if I regret meeting you. But if given a chance to turn back time, I will roll it back to that one Sunday of November 2004 and I will not go to that place where I met you. I will change what happened so we I won’t have to hurt you, so you won’t have to hurt me.

It is not supposed to end like this. It’s not supposed to hurt this way

Why does it have to be this way?  Why do I have to meet you? Why?

I want you out. I don’t want anything that has something to do about you anymore. This is not fair. This is so not fair.

If I lay here,

If I just lay here,

Would you lie with me

And just forget the world?

- snow patrol

I was already feeling really good seeing the picture that will remind you of me, of the times we shared.
I thought maybe it will awaken or revive the lost love in you.
But just moments ago the photograph was replaced.
And it just took my happiness away.

~ july 9, 2009

I think I am okay now.

Yeah I guess. I can smile now, laugh and listen to mushy love songs.

Yes, maybe.

But what about those tears I shed this morning?

Oh.

That, that is because I read again what I wrote for him 3 months back.

Okay, I guess I have  moved on at least about 75 percent? or maybe 80 percent.. I don’t really know.  But the good thing now is I am moving forward. Somehow I can say I am okay. Life goes on… Memories will make me shed tears again I know and I don’t know when it will strike again.

Now, I am fine.

I guess I am starting to dream again.

A good sign.

A start.

Hopefully.

What are the things in my mind?

Photography.

Art.

Learn.

Study.

Write.

Travel.

Innovate.

Effective.

Influence.

Encourage.

Inspire.

Success.

Serve.

I want to do the right things. Things that are relevant. Things that matters, that really matters.

I want to pursue the things I like and love. With passion. With my heart. With my soul.

I want to take pictures.

I want to design shirts and bags with inspiring and striking statements written in them.

I want to draw.

I want to write. Write my story. Write my thoughts. Write what I’ve learned. So others may learn too.

I want to teach. Teach English and the right values. Teach the people to love others. To love their countries.

I want to be relevant.

TWO HANDS by Jars of Clay

I’ve been living out of sanity
I’ve been splitting hairs and blurring lines
I am a house that is divided
In my heart and in my mind

Chorus*
*I use one hand to pull you closer
The other to push you away
If I had two hands doing the same thing
Lifted high, lifted high*

I have a broken disposition
I’m a liar who thirsts for the truth
And while I ache for faith to hold me
I need to feel the scars and see the proof

(Chorus)

And if we just keep digging we can reach the foundation
Of our souls
And if we just keep cutting all the chains from our hearts
We’ll lose control

And it feels like giving in
It feels like starting over
It feels like waking up, and you know it’s coming
It feels like a brand new day
Open your eyes

(Chorus)

Lifted high,
Lifted high

I suddenly thought blogging about the contents of the bag I use almost everyday. People are always wondering what’s inside my bag because it’s quite bigger than the usual bags that most women have or use when they go to work or somewhere. Often people wonder why do I have to carry such a huge bag, actually two bags..haha.. the other one is quite small though that I use for my slippers or umbrella and my packed lunch. I just can’t leave the house without my bag and everything inside it. I just don’t feel complete if I don’t have them with me even if I don’t get to use all of them.

So here are the things that can be found inside my bag:

1. My Starbucks journal. (can’t leave without it)
2. A book (Kapitan Sino -” Captain Who” in English, haha by my favorite Filipino author)
3. Pad paper (yellow one, about 6×5i inches in size)
4. Perfume (Hot- United Colors of Benetton)
5. Pencil case (inside are 2 pens, pencil, mechanical pencil, extra leads for my mechanical pencil, 3 ponytails, 3 pairs of earrings, pins, hairpins, hairclips)
6. Pouch bag or my vanity kit (inside are face powder, eyeliner,lipstick, blush on, clear mascara, black mascara, facial cream, lip gloss, medicine kit, vitamins, nail cutter, cologne, toothpaste, 2 pens, tissue paper, 2 sanitary napkins,  ponytail)
7. toothbrush
8. small bottle of isopropyl alcohol.
9. post its notes
10. nokia hands free kit
11. wallet
12. coin purse
13. comb
14. eyeglasses
15. sunglasses
16. company ID
17.extra underwear. (LOL. for emergency purposes)
18. keys
19. memory card
20. mobile phone
21. mirror
22. A lot of receipts
23. a broken Timex watch. =( Still need to have it fixed.
24. Bible

Even if I don’t get to use all of them in a day, these are a must bring stuff for me, especially my journal or any writing materials because I always write. I can live without a mobile  phone but not without a paper and a pen. I would die!!! LOL. But yeah seriously, I just can’t go anywhere without them. I want to be always ready if an I idea will pop up.